North London Tavern

Before writing up some fantastic wings, burger and great service at Disco Bistro, I have a brief tale of woe to share. It concerns another, less fortunate burger at Kilburn’s North London Tavern.

Said burger was dropped into my lap. Luckily the bun bounced off my leg and decorated the floor, not leaving any marks on my jeans, but the barman didn’t see this, nor did he enquire. He did apologise meekly however, and offered to ask the chef to prepare me another one, as if it was a wonderful favour and I should be grateful. It would take ten minutes.

Thirty minutes later, my replacement burger was delivered, approximately five minutes after my intended was swept up from around my feet. Lovely. I asked the retreating barman if I would be offered anything given that I’d had to wait half an hour, and could not eat with my party and he seemed perplexed.

Cue a sweaty palmed manager waddling over with a ‘wanna fight’ gait, except it was more “Is there a problem here?” – so not too far off. He tried to dispute the waiting time, and then in the most patronising attitude possible, proceeded with “Oh, is it a free drink you’re after? Fine, what do you want…”

No I don’t want a free drink you big sack of tatties. I’m in a round of four and it’s quite obvious we’re about to leave anyway. How about offering something when it happened, or giving a shit? 

The worst thing is that butter fingers himself was North American, and if this happened there I would have been showered with all manner of excessive platitudes and freebies. Such a shame London has ruined his service outlook, but he’s found his rightful place.

In the end, I suggested a dessert we could all share. Didn’t touch a morsel myself though.

Luckily my friend also ordered the burger (safely delivered) and so we could eat half at a time. The burger itself was overcooked, dry and mealy from a breadcrumb-heavy mix. Precarious presentation on a wooden board does not equate to quality, be warned. But it does increase the risk of wearing said burger.

Shame as it’s decent as a pub, and I’ve never had any previous complaints with food. And people drop things, that isn’t the be-all and end-all. But how you deal with the situation is…