The Delaunay

Hard to believe as it is, April saw my first ever visit to The Delaunay. This less formal, warmer incarnation of The Wolseley, with its power breakfasts, Middle European afternoon tea and good-time crowd seems already to be an institution. Going by my Twitter timeline, it’s now as established as any West End stalwart. I've even recommended and referenced it to people as somewhere to take parents, mindlessly oblivious the irony that I hadn’t been myself.

And it’s great. It has all the elements required to add a little grandeur to a restaurant visit. The entrance is grand and instils a slight specialness to your arrival. Staff are exceptionally polite, well-groomed and as they take your coat and guide you to the bar area for a some cold and fizzy, your socks are already charmed off.

Food is really very decent. There is nothing adventurous on the menu, but that isn’t why you would dine here. The weekend brunch menu ranges from breakfast staples to steaks, running through salads, fish dishes, the odd burger and hot dog, and those Austro-Hungarian specialities you might know from The Wolseley.

Hungover as I am wont to be on a Saturday, the chicken noodle soup was beyond what the doctor ordered, beyond even junior doctors’ own saline drip remedy perhaps. A piping hot clear broth, with strong chicken flavour came with a decent amount of shredded chicken, the noodles and some veg (carrots, celery?) to add further taste. Simple and fantastic.

Revived, prosecco-ed up and feeling much better about life in general, my hungover choice of Chicken Cordon Bleu was still a solid decision. A bit of retro fun, but executed perfectly. A huge, juicy chicken breast was flawlessly breaded and filled with a layer of ham and cheese oozing out. It rested in a ridiculously tasty jus and the whole dish was an absolute pleasure to eat, with a twist of nostalgia. Surely there is nothing better than a fancy ‘kids’ tea’? The place that does grown-up waffles and beans next has my vote. 

 

Dessert options are compendious and faced with the choice of a Viennese grand café, I retreated into my ignorant shell and plumped for the obvious apple strudel with vanilla ice cream. It was crunchy, soft, warming and above any criticism. I’m a simple man with relatively simple tastes though: much like pancetta/bacon and savoury dishes, there are very few desserts a cheeky scoop of vanilla won’t enhance. Or compensate for. But this was inscrutable.

I don’t have anything further to add on The Delaunay. As I mentioned, bizarrely, it snuck into my repertoire and I spoke of it with familiarity and affection long before I’d been. Which is so odd. But I guess is a testimony to how consistent the reception has been that a dependable consensus seems to have infiltrated my consciousness.  

Queuing for burgers and eating street food on the pavement has its moments, but call me a traditionalist; this is how restaurants should be. Simplicity, atmosphere, timelessly contemporary, reliable and with a sense of occasion. It smacks of longevity already. 

Food – 8/10 
Drink – 8/10 
Service - 9/10 
Value – 9/10 
Tap water tales – 6/10 (nominal-charged filter option pushed, but tap available) 
Staff Hotness – 9/10

Monocle Café, London

So the Monocle Café has finally opened on Marylebone’s languid Chiltern street. It’s a very different proposition from the Tokyo café; the smaller space understandably brings a more slavish adherence to clean lines which is utterly on-brand. It is closer to the mould of a modern coffee shop than its department store basement cousin in Japan; itself more a stylised canteen or airport lounge.

The Tokyo original has more curves, non-standard angles, texture and fluidity, which is ironic given that it was designed by Omotesando Koffee’s Eiichi Kunitomo, enlisted due to his own impeccably lined, cubist masterpiece. Ostensibly, he out-Monocled Tyler. But then, Japan is the muse. With a dash of Nordic governance and pragmatism.

Coffee is procured from East London Kiwi outfit Allpress, served with Japanese inspired crockery and trays (for sale, naturally), and is thoroughly Antipodean in execution. Which is to say excellent. Cakes were baffling – they resembled the oversweet, glacier fruited cakes of Chinatown, but with real fruit pieces and actually pretty tasty. I look forward to the full menu, which promises more brunch items and possibly even gin. 

The staff are Monocle through and through. Really, the whole thing is. Whether or not the whole brand proposition is fanciful and aspirational beyond the stars is beside the point (of course it is, does the easily attainable sell £6 magazines?), as the delivery here is spot on.

Beyond some less-explored world commentary, bold ideas and voices on contemporary living, and its championing of print media, Monocle will be long remembered as an exquisite case study in branding. It’s unshakeable, beautiful, consistent, ubiquitous and preposterous. With a blue apron and a perfect beard.

It has shrewdly tapped in to success, vanity, knowledge and frequent flyer status as manifestations of the professional man’s raw competitive streak, and created something brilliant. I see it for what it is - as both  advertising bod and targeted punter, and I admire it even more.

Bluebelles of Portobello

Another new-ish opening on northernmost Portobello Road (better known for Golborne Road admittedly), Bluebelles offers a vast brunch menu and fantastic coffee in a familiarly contemporary space.

Confidence and consumption never left West London. But affordable rents did, and with them went a lot of independent spirit. A generation of innovators and entrepreneurs has come of age in a time when most of West London is priced beyond viability. This little quarter has always been eclectic however (and had tribes comparable to ‘hipsters’ decades before anywhere east) and is seemingly returning to the map. 

Pizza East is the notable pin on the map these days, but Lowry & Baker and The Crazy Baker both provide the coffee and carbs integral to resting weary feet and thus underpinning any retail stretch. 

And this is quite the stretch: from beautiful Ally Capellino to London's own Moroccan epicentre, via vintage interiors stores, fancy florists, galleries and high-concept hairdressers, there is a lot of faux-boho and decidedly upscale activity here.

Bluebelles brings a third option within ten metres; a veritable cluster! Finally there is some choice in terms of decent coffee around here. It’s with Caravan beans, and very well executed. As well as the full brunch menu, there is an array of the usual savoury and sweet stuff. 

The café itself is buzzy, loud and illuminated by a selection of filamenty bulbs, as well as those swirly ones from Dragons’ Den. Perhaps they were indecisive, and trialled a few, and then decided mishmash was actually ‘the look’ – who knows. With the urban starkness of exposed brick softened by with the titular blue pastels, it’s a pleasant space. I liked the Moroccan tiles' nod to the Golborne environs.

And it's all very welcome in these final weeks, before this pig trots south of Father Thames….

Anderson & Co

Anderson & Co is a café on Peckham’s epicentre of localism and loveliness, Bellenden Road. Shrewdly for a trailblazer in a nascent area, they cover off multiple functions like bakery (sourced from Blackbird round the corner), brunch place, coffee hotspot, deli items and plenty of sweet stuff for the afternoon crowd.

We had a mix of the brunch and bistro menu. The Piglet went for bacon and scrambled eggs on sourdough, which was cooked behind us (the back dining room doubles up as the kitchen), well-seasoned and moderately priced at £5, if dare I say it, moderately sized too.

I had the chicken, chorizo and three bean casserole which was also about £5-6. There was a lone, soggy-skinned chicken drumstick which didn’t rock my world, but beyond that was plenty of punchy chorizo, a rich sauce and lots of warming beans. The zingy salad and excellent sourdough contributed to make this a great value lunch indeed.

Square Mile coffees were a strong point too, including some decent latte art, but I’m always a tad miffed when a long black is priced the same as a latte (both £2.50 – increasingly standard for this part of town). Hot water with a double espresso poured on top doesn’t require the same time, skill or ingredients (milk). Still, tiny gripe.

Anderson & Co is the sort of quality local café every area could do with. They host pop-up dinners, are very friendly and seem to be pivotal for the community, knowingly fortunate enough to have Bellenden Road as their village street. I’m curious to see if they adapt (or not) to the much-hyped General Store opening opposite (who will be doing Workshop Coffee), but Bellenden Road can comfortably handle several decent coffee and food places within its eclectic mix. 

p.s. Bellend. Bellend. Bellend. Obvious and immature perhaps, but I'd be lying to my own puerility if I feigned ignoring it.

Food – 8/10 

Drink – 6/10 

Service - 8/10 

Value – 8/10 (would be a 9 for food, 7 for coffee)

Tap water tales – 9/10 

Staff Hotness – 6/10 (homely!)

Workshop Coffee (ex-St. Ali)

Working close to Workshop Coffee  as I do some days, I’ve spent quite a lot of time there. I’ve known it primarily as St. Ali and the unexpected name change hasn’t quite sunk in.

Getting good coffee in London is no longer a rarity worth crossing town for, and a decent brew knocked up with Square Mile, Monmouth or Climpsons is easily found now. But Workshop and a few others go a little further. The single-origin beans, house roastery and faffy techniques nobody really needs like AeroPress, Chemex and siphon are what elevate them to the highest echelons of the land of coffee. The upshot of this is the possibility of paying a criminal £3-4 for a single origin filter from their specials list.

But I’m not here to talk about the coffee - this is an ode to a burger. The food here is a mirror image of the standards - serious, high quality and highly priced. The baked goodies throughout the day are all made in-house, imperfect in shape perhaps but full of taste and fresh fruit. The sandwiches are the norm for modern indie coffee joints - modest in size but not scope.

Now and again a burger breaks out of the humdrum league of pretty good burgers to exalt itself above its countrymen and bask in foodie glory. Currently doing the rounds is the sexy beast from the Cod in Chelsea, once a misguided, underage hangout of mine in the mid 90s. Byron’s Chilli Queen is also darkening the Twitter feeds of our seemingly important but actually rather small sphere of burger nutters. And I'd wager that The Workshop Burger could do the same:

It’s £11.95 which is about market price for a burger of this quality. The bun is brioche, but not overly eggy or sweaty. More glowing like a lady. Importantly, it’s mealy enough to hold everything in place without disintegrating under the tomato dribble. 

The cheese is comté, an absolute favourite of mine but not used so much in burgers. Considering it’s such a perfect melting cheese, it’s a rare choice.

The patty itself is lovely. I was on a work lunch so could only justify one picture sadly! I requested medium but it was gratefully on the pink side of that – nicely charred on the edges. The chipotle mayo added some more smokiness too. 

It's just so damn juicy and flavoursome. And really filling. I find the Byron burgers are over in about five minutes. Chips are ratte potatoes, probably the weak link of the situation but not bad by any means. Some skinny fries would make this superb, as it’s definitely a burger in the neo-trad American approach.

And bonus points for two pickles...

So even if you're not after a coffee, I thoroughly recommend you get yourself down to Clerkenwell Road and feast on this juicy, fat little devil. Wash it down with one of three Kernel or three Meantime beers by the bottle. Perfect.

Food – 9/10

Drink – 8/10

Service - 8/10

Value – 7/10

Tap water tales – 10/10

Staff Hotness – 7/10 (more if you like '94 Seattle)

 

Long White Cloud

Long White Cloud is quite an innocuous little place in amongst the inner city mix of charm and squalor that Hackney Road juggles so well. Squalor often wins out, so it’s nice to see little patches of ‘loveliness’ emanating out from Columbia Road and Shoreditch High Street.

 

As the name describes, it’s a Kiwi joint doing coffee and breakfast. It’s not a fancy one by any means and isn’t particularly stylised or slick. The space is long, narrow and cluttered, but with enough varied seating to relax. There were a few people just chilling out on the wi-fi, which you could never do at Lantana for example.

Breakfast offerings are pretty simple. The French Toast with bacon and banana was a fulfilling dish. I’m always torn between fruit compote/blueberries and bacon with my pancakes or French toast. How refreshing to be offered both. 

This very attractive plate of food also contained some spinach leaves with a drizzle of oil, adding colour and freshness (and a little healthy virtuousness) to well grilled bacon, generous banana and filling french toast – all made at the grilling station behind the till – American deli style. At £6.50 it comes in at half the price of Bill Granger’s with double the amount of bacon (must get over that) and is definitely more satisfying.

My friend had the muesli which was good quality and piled high with shredded green apple and natural yoghurt. Again, well-priced at £3.50.

Coffee is Monmouth and strong. The wall is lined with local artists’ works, and the back has a few shelves of Antipodean chocolates and other bits for homesick Kiwis. 

Another solid breakfast and coffee option for an area with more and more choice. This joins Allpress, Story, Nude and Leila’s, among many others…

Food – 7/10

Drink – 7/10

Service - 8/10

Value – 9/10

Tap water tales – 7/10

Staff Hotness – 7/10

The Grand Café (Oxford)

If you happen to be visiting Oxford, I'd highly recommend a refreshment stop at The Grand Café.

Not only is it, as promised, rather grand in a sort of Viennese way, but the food is excellent. Sandwiches, teas and a vast range of homemade patisserie abound – but the fully stocked bar with cocktail happy hour gives this place a bit more of a buzz than a funereal Betty’s Tea Room.

lemon tart

Service is attentive, the oversized wicker chairs lend an air of colonial lounging, and the clientele is a mix of bumbling tourists, students and locals in ‘sweet’ harmony… (boom!)

Foxcroft and Ginger

Foxcroft and Ginger is absolutely one of my favourite Soho cafes. Unlike some of the newer generation of good coffee places in London, it has a serenity to it and a feeling of space. The serenity might be due to the obvious comparisons with Flat White, which is about ten doors up on Berwick Street. The coffee at Flat White is great, but I find it a little bit too sceney and frenetic. 

In contrast, F&G is made for chilling in. The coffee is Monmouth, excellent and served in funky, unique vintage china. The food is exemplary for cafes of the genre and special mention much go to the sandwiches (all £4-6); they’re crammed full of inventive ingredients such as poached chicken, mozzarella, rocket and lime, or the monster Toulouse sausage and onion jam. However the scene stealer is definitely the ham and cheese French toast, which arrives nicely served on a wooden board, drizzled in a mustardy honey concoction. It’s absolutely delicious.

The décor here is industrial meets cosy – downstairs has comfy seats and cool reclaimed gymnastics equipment like a pommel horse. Upstairs is narrow and more stirpped back to tiles and pipes, but the seats at the back are also very comfy. 

Wi-Fi is strong, and the tempting desserts and well-edited booze mean you can happily wile away the hours here. Service is typical upmarket Antipodean; relaxed but food and coffee are serious business. And the staff are hot. For me, it wipes the floor with other contenders in the area.

Food – 8/10

Drink – 9/10

Service - 8/10

Value – 6/10 (some sandwiches although great, can be a bit punchy) 

Tap water tales – 8/10 (minted and non-minted water carafes to self-serve)

Staff Hotness – 9/10

Hugo's (and CC's)

Hugo’s is a bar/restaurant on Lonsdale Road, Queens Park’s alternative drag which has a decent amount of vibrancy, with a few creative cottage industries as well as a Pilates studio and some workshops.

Hugo’s has been around for a long time but it took me a while to visit. It used to be the Organic Café and was well known for its jazz Sundays. I believe these are still going, but we came for a quick Saturday feed. Well, brunch really – but by brunch, one can also mean burger.  So here it is:

A nice piece of meat, with oozing cheddar that looks almost like hollandaise. It was cooked medium rare to order, but came with quite uninspiring fries. Solid burger though, very rustic and homemade in style with onions through the mince, which I like. I certainly would have loved a portion of the sautéed potatoes instead, which come with the full English.

Nice looking double yolk fried egg, and of course the aforementioned potatoes are a good touch (though could they not have jazzed them up to create ‘home fries’ ?) but a little stingy on the meat elements. And the bacon was a bit tasteless.

Service is a bit off the day we went, and we had to go in and pay our bill. It’s possibly a bit understaffed during the daytime as the apologetic sole barman/waiter/supervisor was pretty rushed. Nice draught beers and a good wine list also, and I’ll probably be back to try dinner. It's a decent neighbourhood place and well priced (breakfasts £6-10, burger about £11, mains £14-18).

CC's counter and menu

CC’s is next door, and owned by the same people. I doubt it warrants its own post but is definitely worth a mention. The wall is a compendious and colourful juice and smoothie menu but they do great organic coffee from their La Spaziale, and some twee baking such as cupcakes and macaroons, as well as pastries and quiches, sausage rolls etc...

There is also a little hatch for takeaway ice cream, which looks amazing. A nice neighbourhood place to have, with Antipodean barista service and some quality food. The space feels a tad sparse, and could be used better to create a more vibrant feel with some additional seating. 

More is given over to prep space than café space and it feels a bit like a woodwork studio – CC’s isn’t that established yet and so with a bit of a space revamp could really compete with the many cafes of Queens Park. It certainly makes the best coffee.

Food – 7/10

Drink – 8/10

Value – 7/10

Service - 6/10 (possibly understaffed but maybe unlucky on the day)
Tap Water Tales - 5/10 (requested, iced glass but nothing special)

Staff Hotness – 6/10 (overwhelmed is not a good look!)