BRGR Co

BRGR is rubbish. There isn’t a massive point in writing a great deal because I would advise anybody from going there and W1 offers a far better array of burgers within spitting distance but to summarise: 

• The burger patties are all uniform, flattened and too large in diameter. There should be some element of challenge to eat it.
• Only one type of cooking is ‘advised’ per burger, which gives the impression of expertise and to-order cooking, but is actually a passive-aggressive assembly line.         
• My 6oz, even though medium-rare, didn’t taste of anything. Except warm mince. 
• My cheesy fries were just regular fries with some cold grated cheese chucked on. 4am Kebabish style.
• The space is too smoky (it stinks of well-done burgers, which is how the house burger is served!) and is in serious need of better ventilation. 

 

There’s not much more to say, but I love a good rant, so I'll continue. The staff were very pleasant but who gives a monkey’s when the fundamental product is so bad. They're surely all actors in between Shakespearean leads – they certainly deserve Oscars for hawking this shite with a smile.

Quite how a joint with such chutzpah and designs on provenance can output something so insipid is astonishing. If you’re going preach about select butcher cuts like a Pedigree Chum ad, then you need to back it up with your product. Or overseason. Or cheat. Worcestershire sauce, parmesan, garlic, shallots, anything…would've been a boost here. Easily the worst medium-rare burger I’ve ever had.

The bun is photogenic and shiny but again ineffectual, surrendering in despair under the burden of such crud. It’s all ‘heel’ with no actual bread substance. No burgers come with cheese as standard either. I didn’t ask for it as I wasn’t paying attention, but received it regardless and was charged a quid.

The whole experience reminded me of trips to Swiss Cottage Garfunkel’s in the 90s (not even Tootsies, RIP) which sadly did happen on occasion. But we didn’t know any better in those days. Nor did we have Honest Burgers. But we do now. So don’t bother…

Food – 3/10

Drink – 6/10 (good lemonade, one beer on offer)

Service - 8/10

Value – 6/10

Tap water tales – 3/10 (not offered or asked)

Staff Hotness - 8/10